Ke-ce-wa

Percaya telah lupa
Peduli telah pergi
Luka telah menjelma
.
Aku kecewa.


18 Agustus 2017
Patah, remuk, hancur.

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Moving Forward?

 I moved. I left Japan this June 2024.  I left my job, my place, my friends, my freedom, my everything, and returned back to Jakarta, Indonesia. I got a full scholarship for my Master's Degree from The Indonesian MoD (that is just a reason for me to justify my decision, actually). Why? Maybe I'll know it better once I reread this post again.  Reality just started to hit me now and regrets started to creep me out. I want to leave Indonesia again once I graduate unless I have more reasons to stay. I escaped my past, I thought I'd be married by now lol, not him canceling it just days prior to our plans to visit my parents in Indonesia.  Anyways, I am moving forward.  Some things are better left where they ended, some are better left untouched until I am ready, and maybe better days are coming.  Life has more to offer. My life is bigger than my previous relationship, or anything that made me little. I will flourish, I will be happy,  My turn will come. God...
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Changes

Life is about changes, sounds classic, but nothing in this world would remain the same. We evolve, either backward or forward, for the better or for the worse, or for the meh-okay-fine. This post is about change, my personal growth, or whatever society wants to call this uncomfortable never-ending painful healing process. 2021 was very uncomfortably disturbing for me. I changed, a lot.  I started to replenish myself; I relearn so many things about my identity and how I perceive myself and others. I am sitting in my Gender in IR class while writing this, and while multi-tasking while reading a post from Instagram, I found this: The 'new you' will upset some people. They'll tell you they miss the 'old you'. When this happes, you'll wonder whether you made the right decision. You'l think to yourself, "Should I go back to the old me?..." The answer is, I don't know. I don't like myself now as well as I don't like myself then.  I think the p...
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First Letters

Out of the plan nothing can remain deep inside, no more pain roaring like a hard rain and heart, no more interminable plain King, let the empire win end is just another start that begins irridiculously harmonising no disguise, love is real! January 14th, 2020 happy learning!
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